i wouldn't change a thing

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Life is a very complicated thing to understand. One minute everything is going amazing and going exactly the way you had always wished and the next, everything goes wrong and it makes you want to cry yourself to sleep. But I've learned that the difference between the people who are always mad, sad or just plain out negative is that they choose to be. You may have your bad days, but life goes on. Life doesn't give you the people you want. It gives you the people you need, to help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you to and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

23:49

I can’t do this anymore. The hole I feel is overwhelming. I try to block it out with various things but nothing can cover up what I am trying to hide. It’s like I’m not myself anymore. I don’t recognize the person I see in the mirror. My self esteem is shattered and I’m looking to you to put the pieces back together but you cant seem to do that for me. You’d rather look cool in the eyes of your friends then see what’s right in front of you. Im hurting because of you and I wish you could see it. But you never will. So again, i will cry myself to sleep and hope that in the morning I can put a smile on again and pretend that I’m..

OK.

“Matt, can we find a place like this and go there and just live there forever?”
“Can we have sex there?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”

18:08

I’m at my breaking point.

I feel as if i am crumbling into nothing. My head won’t stop hurting and with every sad song, a river of tears flood into my eyes.

I’m a mess.